I believe learning to forgive is one of the most powerful lessons one must learn.
I believe it starts with understanding what makes that particular person do what they do. We’ve all heard stories of families getting stuck in an abusive cycle for generations. The father was abused as a child and therefore he grows up and starts a family of his own and abuses his child as well. And the cycle continues because, in their eyes, that seems normal. They’ve never witnessed anything different before.
One thing I know for sure is that hurt people hurt people. Chances are that there is a deep emotional reason why people who have hurt you in the past did so. Learning about someone’s past doesn’t make what they did right but it gives you a better understanding why they might have taken the particular actions that they did. Forgiveness is different in every situation. Whether it deals with trying to forgive someone who was unfaithful, a family member that said hurtful things to you or a stranger that cut you off in traffic they all take a different amount of time and levels of work to forgive.
Many people we will meet during our lifetime have deep wounds that still need to be healed and until then their actions towards the people they come in contact might not truly represent who they are as a person.
You might have heard Oprah share her story about forgiveness. How one guest she had shared something with her that had a profound impact on her. He shared that true forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been different. Accepting that it has happened to you, not that it was ok that it happened to you.
Forgiveness is letting go of the past so that it doesn’t hold you as a prisoner.
Remember that forgiveness is simply a choice. Oftentimes we don’t realize that by not forgiving the only person we are hurting is ourselves. It is very unhealthy for our spirit to hold on to a grudge. Often when we find it difficult to forgive it’s because we are living in the past and not in the present. That is why you must accept the past and focus your attention on the present.
And finally, one healthy habit to have to create forgiveness is to take the time to send love to the person you’re working on forgiving. Instead of being judgmental or criticizing them learn to see them with eyes of love. This is especially true if you are not aware of what difficulties they might have or are going through. I know it sounds easier said than done but remember as Dr. Wayne Dyer use to say “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. ”
Have you ever been in a situation where you had to forgive someone for what they did? If so, What was the process you took to forgive and how did you feel after? I would love to hear your comments down below. <3
Wishing you love, success and a lifetime of bliss!